Wolfman…
…or
Not even the full moon can transform this movie into something decent
Last night I saw a screening of “The Wolfman” movie which is due to be released today, February 12th. If this review serves as anything to you, dear reader, let it be a warning: Director Joe Johnston and company have shit the bed quite horribly with this latest attempt at reviving an old Universal horror franchise, with a film awash in poor acting, plot anemic storytelling and wretchedly awful special effects. I find it rather pointless to go into the specifics of why this movie is so completely terrible, but it must be noted that there were chuckles during various ‘intense’ or ‘moving’ moments, scoffing during obviously poor computer-driven special effects (‘special’ in the way that those Olympics for challenged children are special), and more than it’s share of audience watch-checking. Trust me, folks–this thing is b-a-d. Even Anthony Hopkins, usually at very least decent, is clearly phoning his performance in, evidently from somewhere deep within the Bermuda Triangle. Benicio Del Toro is monstrously miscast (pun intended), and poor Emily Blunt spends the movie looking slightly constipated. The sets are pretty nice, and there are a few visuals that are almost kind of sort of nice, but the overall effect of the film on myself and those with me for this particular screening was, “You guys want to go get a pizza or something? Too late to eat? Yeah, I guess. See you guys next week maybe. Oh, did you remember to call Kim? Yeah, I told her about that Hollywood Bowl event and she….yeah, yeah. Did she really? Weird. Well, we can catch up later in the week. Drive safe…”
In other words, it had absolutely no effect on anyone.
So, if you are up for a film that:
a. uses very, very loud noises to ‘scare’ you (inevitably resulting in the source of the sound being some innocuous something-or-other)….
b. utilizes the lamest motion-blurring, camera-shaking, fuzzy-ghost computer graphics….
c. allows it’s performers to sleepwalk through a horrendously un-dramatic script (amongst pretty sets)….
d. has a guy with a lot of hair and the cutest little black doggie nose….
….then ‘wolfman’ is for you! Otherwise, steer the hell clear of this wolf-poop-pile of a movie.
February 13th, 2010 at 2:50 am
A very interesting point of view! It seems to be true so I will follow your advice and do not see this movie.
It is too bad for Rick and Benicio..
February 13th, 2010 at 2:54 am
Hey Jordu, Just read your review and I gotta say you hit the nail on the head!! U agree with everything you wrote. I was at the cast and crew screening in London and usually at the end of these things there are aplause, this time the film finished and the cinema was silent!!
Oh well you live and learn….
Pete
February 16th, 2010 at 1:22 pm
So, did you like the movie or not?
ps.: jk
February 20th, 2010 at 1:38 pm
Ha! I was suspecting that. They just don’t care about this genre. Make a quick buck and move on to the next famous “brand” to exploit. Sure beats actually putting some creative effort in a film.
February 20th, 2010 at 1:51 pm
hit the nail on the head indeed, very very disapointing, specially cause it could’ve been an amazing movie if it was handled by the right people… such a shame
June 22nd, 2010 at 9:13 am
I couldn’t agree more with your review of Wolfman. Why is it they continue to miss the mark with wolf creatures? The ones in Underworld were cool but not wolf like (more like those hairless dogs in Mexico) and this movie had the wolf man with long claws. Wolves don’t have those! At least in the lame Twilight movies they actually turn into wolves (Although they’re 3 times larger than a real wolf).